Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
