why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
