he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
