That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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