I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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