i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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