your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
