I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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