he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Send help, water and tortillas.
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