Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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