I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
