i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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