It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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