so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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