oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This girl is more easily done than said...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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