Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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