It's Friday. Sex?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
