Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
