AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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