There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
