if you like me you must not know who I am
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
