Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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