Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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