"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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