So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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