Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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