So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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