How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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