Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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