My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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