Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
