Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
