i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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