do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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