Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm too high and old for this...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
