lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
