I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
