Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
