what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
