if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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