is wine microwaveable?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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