You work out of a Hotel?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize