just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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