my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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