you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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