god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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