There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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