She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
