I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
