somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
