ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i think my cat just said my name.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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