Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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