i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
