Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
