They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
