i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
