would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
