ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize