Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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