I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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