i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
